July 27, 2007
I am a huge podcast listener. I am subscribed to about 15 shows that I’ll listen to at work, in the car, or whenever I have some time to kill. Finding 15 podcasts that I actually enjoy is quite a feat considering all of the shit podcasts I had to listen to and filter out. I have heard some of the worst shows in the history of shows to find a few that I like and on this journey I have discovered a few running themes, jokes, and issues that these shit podcasts all had in common. Here is a list of the top ten podcast annoyances. If you can avoid these you are on your way to having an alright show.
10. Sound quality
The first thing that you hear when listening to a podcast is the actual quality of the sound. If all you hear is a static voice you will probably stop listening 5 seconds into the show. Also sound levels are important. You don’t want your ears drums bursting while trying to listen and you also don’t want people to have to crank the volume just to decipher what your saying.
I’m not saying you have to have a professional sound studio with $600 mics, all i’m saying is spend a little time tweaking your audio levels and getting your sound quality decent.
9. Intro with hacky rock music bed with clips of the show over it
So many podcasts out there follow this formula and it makes me want to rip my hair out. Number one, pick out some music that doesn’t sound like an 80’s metal band that have all overdosed on heroin and died… Number 2, no one cares about hearing a few clips of the show that sound “witty”. Your witty stuff should go into promos not the intro.
So many podcasts do this and it needs to stop.
8. Monotone Voices
PUT SOME PEP INTO YOUR VOICE. This can really determine the success or failure of your podcast. This is especially true for tech shows. No one wants to hear boring tech talk coming from a voice that puts you to sleep. Otherwise it sounds like a college lecture. Just by putting some effort into your speaking you can make your show entertaining (or at least bearable to listen to).
7. Skype co-hosts
If your co-host is not in the same room as you, STOP, put the mic down, and shut off your computer, you should not be making a podcast. I’d rather hear someone who is somewhat entertaining ramble into a microphone alone than hear a shitty co-host on a delay with a static voice. C’mon people, you can’t be total losers, get a friend in front of the computer with you and buy an extra mic. It can make all the difference in the world.
6. Excessive Giggling
If your a prepubescent podcaster and your whole show is just giggling with your buddy about stuff that only you think is funny, please find your fathers gun and shoot yourself. No one wants to hear it. Your annoying high-pitched laugh hurts my ears and gives me a headache. Believe it or not there are a lot of podcasts that do this. Zero content+all giggles= not entertaining.
5. Talking over each other
Calm down, take a breath, and listen to what your co-hosts have to say. Don’t just wait for your turn to speak. When podcasts have 2 or more voices all talking at once I immediately shut them off.
4. Over use of sound drops
Playing a sound byte from a movie 50 times in a row is not clever and just shows that you have nothing original to fill your show with. People will get really sick of it really fast and tune out. A few well placed sound drops can be quite funny, but DO NOT over use them.
3. Fake firing of co-hosts.
Why is it that people find it funny to joke about firing their co-hosts. I don’t know what it is but I have listened to shows that 5 episodes in a row they will do this. “You know what, your fired!” ::laughs:: This isn’t funny. It’s been done to death. And yes, I have been guilty of doing this too.
2. Premature ending.
Intro music, introduction of show and co-hosts, Good night everybody, ::laughs::. Again, this is not funny and happens all the time. Why would this be funny? Because your show had no content? I don’t get it. And so many shows do this… actually, come to think of it, I think all shows have done this at least once. You know what that means? ITS HACK! Skip the fluff and get into your damn show.
1. Joking about people sending you money and gadgets but actually meaning it.
I think on everyones first show they joke about people sending them money and expensive gifts. I think this is because they are hoping that some rich person somewhere will listen to their show and actually do this. Now tell me why on earth would anyone send anything to 2 kids on their headset microphones, providing and unentertaining piece of crap show. Now after you gain a listener base, this actually becomes a possibility, but thats only after a few years of podcasting.
STOP JOKING ABOUT IT! STOP ASKING FOR STUFF! EVOLVE!
Well this turned out to be more of a rant than anything. If you are thinking about starting a podcast or have one currently, STAY AWAY FROM DOING THE ABOVE. It’ll save you and your listeners a lot of grief and may help you gain popularity faster than if you had partaken in these Podcasting No No’s.