I am coining the term Stress Pile. What is a stress pile? A stress pile is when you suddenly find yourself buried up to your head with deadlines, responsibilities, and bad luck. Also Stress Pile is the best way to describe how I am feeling right now.

This stress pile snuck up on me. About a week ago I all of a sudden got this surge of anxiety while driving home from work. At first I didn’t know why. I started thinking about what could be causing this. Then the floodgates opened. I realized that I have a lot to be anxious about. As soon as I got home I pulled up a text document and made a list of things that I needed to get done. As soon as I was finished making the list the nervous feeling in my stomach subsided a bit because now I had a list of things I needed to do. Apparently I have been putting off a lot of things and deadlines were coming up. Here are a few things from my list that are causing me most of my anxiety:

• Huge web site for Scott Skillz’ booking company that solely depends on the functionality of this site (which was supposed to be done weeks before)
• Fix broken desktop so I can do Wreckless Media Radio
• Pay an overdue electricity bill
• Pay parking ticket
• Other freelance website deadlines.

Thats just a few to give you an idea, and it may not seem like that would cause a lot of stress but when you realize that you’ve let these things pile up and more responsibilities keep coming your way, it begins to be stressful. Thus the Stress Pile.

Scott’s site is the main source of my stress right now. I am pretty much the middle man in this ordeal. I talk to Scott, see what he needs on the site, then I forward on the info to my back-end programmer Matt. Being the middle man SUCKS! The site was supposed to be done about a month ago so I have Scott calling me 50 times a day bitching about the site and every day I have to deliver the bad news that the site isn’t done. Both Scott and Matt are to blame for this ordeal.

Scott should not have started booking clients and venues before he had an actual working product. He also should have given us more time to finish it. A project like this takes a lot of time and coding.

Matt is to blame too because he has had plenty of time to finish this project. I think he lacks motivation. I don’t think he has ever finished a project that he has started. He just runs out of steam. But this is a project that he agreed to do. He keeps telling me that it will be finished by a certain date and then that date always comes and goes with nothing. He also tells me that he has other things he needs to do and his life doesn’t revolve around this project. Which is true, but when you have deadlines sometimes you have to set aside your personal life and get down to business.

So here I am in the middle. Scott bitches to me and continues to sell a service that he doesn’t have, I try to motivate Matt to finish the project, Matt gets mad at me for pushing him to do work and threatens to abandon the entire project. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!?

ugh… I’ll keep the blog updated with my journey out of this Stress Pile.